Just another day. Just another office story.

How does a perfectly imperfect day starts for everyone? Struggling to get up from the bed to make it on time for work. And then suddenly, the love of my life, my bolster (after my husband of course) comes on my way and its super magnetic property attracts me so bad that I snooze my god damn irritating alarm and hold the bolster and sleep.

And then, 15 minutes after I plan to take a so-called power nap, my natural alarm wakes me up, which is my maid. My maid, guys is super necessary for my survival. One off she takes and I get virtual fever accompanied by cold and all other humanly possible problems.

Anyways, I manage to get up like a zombie, take close to an hour to get ready and finally book a cab and head to office.

So the same routine happened one fine day. I reached office at 9:45 AM, opened my laptop and scrolled through my emails which is a horrifying vision as my mailbox is always loaded (God knows why). And there were almost 10 briefs from the client which more or less had the same deadline. My heart skipped a beat and I hit rock bottom. With a heavy heart and prepared for jagrata the entire week,I started working.

I have this terrible, super arrogant content writer who apparently has three years of experience and has a Master ‘s Degree in English. And unfortunately, I am bound to get all my content from her. One of my client is a  medical client who is very picky about the content used, grammar and punctuation and is allergic to wrong English.

I briefed my fellow content writer about the work which would be further included in the Social Media Plan. I am a Digital Media Planner by the way. I know I am cribbing about my work and stuff but I wanted to put this particular day on the blog and just get over with it. I am sure people reading this will have a good laugh. ( You might choose not to laugh and abuse me for whining.)

Question: Are you prone to Breast Cancer?  What will come to a layman’s mind when he/she reads it? (She particularly since it happens to women but then again no women is ‘prone’ to it.)

This line was present in the content which was part of the social  media plan which means this was supposed to go online. To  my ultimate terror, this was not the only mistake. If that had happened, I wouldn’t have been writing this. There were almost 50-60 errors in one sheet (believe me, I counted). This is was an eye opener and the mistakes were pathetic. I calmed myself down and started re-working. I had to patience to make her re-work and then crib again.

The worst part is the lady is so arrogant that even if you try to explain her the problems, she doesn’t seem to care. This makes all my effort to write a brief and explain her go in to the pooper.

So, the content is finally done by me and I send it to the designer to get the creatives done. That guy is another big time pain is the ass. Please note that he is a designer and he is supposed to be ‘creative’.

Brief conversation with him:

Designer: Yeh kya hai? Kuch samajh nahi aaya.

Me: Content Bucket for the SM Plan. You need to make creatives for each topic. Search images related to the topic and make the infographs and images as per the content’s requirement.

Designer: Can you send me old creatives? I will rework on them.

Me: *Stunned* Out of despair I ask Whyyy?

Designer: Tum image khoj k do. Main bana dunga creatives.

Me: (In my mind – Chutiye. Gadhe. Maine image khojna hai toh tum kis liye baithe ho. I might as well learn Corel draw and create the fucking images). Instead I said calmly, please search for the images and work. I will help you if you face any further problem.

This designer guy I am talking about has screwed up  my work before as well. For one particular brief, I received 42 iterations from my client and the mail chain had almost 65 mails. Basically, I am not being whiny out here. It is difficult to work with fucktards like this. Because eventually, I face the client and then severe gaand mein danda.

Some of the excuses:

1. I did not understand the brief.

-My virtual reply: I am sorry. I guess I need to improve my English.

-My actual reply: I will explain you again.

2. I don’t feel like working on the Medical Clients. Its boring. I don’t feel like writing for them. No creative work.

-My virtual reply: Bc. Jab job lia tha tab clients check nahi kia? Did we ever say you will have to write about unicorns.

-My actual reply- I know. But you have to. We cannot be ignorant about them.

3. I have zero understanding of what the client wants.

-My virtual reply: Were you sleeping when we were briefed you about them?

-My actual reply: I will explain you again. No issues.

Eventually, this day ended at 9 PM with loads of iterations from the client and seedhe language mein, Bawaal hua.

Bawaal was an escalation from the client. The big brain in my nerve popped. I almost screamed at the designer which was in vain. Escalated him. That too was in vain.

So finally after 15 days my work gets done. By now, the client hates me I am sure. I have no idea why people like my designer or my content writer gets hired. The repercussions of working with these people are atrocious. And the excuses they give are preposterous!

Anyways, after this incident I make sure none of my work, not even a petty tagline reaches these idiots. I work with other designers and writers.

I have whimpered enough and I realized I am hungry and I also need to poop. I poop at office everyday.

Till then, happy working guys. It’s just Wednesday. Two more days to slog and then partayy! Pamper your maid like I do if  she is your necessity.

I am reallyy gonna go and poop.

Whole lotta love

-Wildchild